A Needed Friend, Not a Wanted Friend

One of things I’ve noticed about gauging our relationships with others is understanding when we’ve surpassed that benchmark of trust where we can be critical out of respect and love.  Where do you pinpoint that level that you cross where it’s alright to tell someone the things they need to hear, not necessarily the things that they want to hear.  What’s even odder is that we can all identify those people where we feel comfortable crossing this boundary with, but how many of us can identify that time where it just happened…where we knew that we were just OK to interact and communicate openly in that way?

The ability to tell someone whom with you have a personal relationship that you think they are wrong is a challenging dilemma.  On one side, we want to be there to support that person and help them as much as possible.  We want to let them know the “we got their back” and are ready to go to war with them if we needed to do so.  But sometimes, we have friends that just need a wake-up call.  Someone that just needs to be knocked upside the head so to speak.  We want to be supportive but yet we want to help show them the error of their ways.

Myself, I would never want to surround myself with a bunch of “yes men” in which to confide.  When I think about my closest friends, I think of the people that I not only have the closest of love and respect, but also those people that can tell me to get a grip when I need to hear it.  The ones that can give me a proverbial shake and tell me to get my head in the game when I desperately need it.  Such is the nature of a true meaningful friendship.

On the other side, there are other relationships where that is just not appropriate.  I’ve had situations where I’ve met people at various points in my life and in a matter of days (and sometimes hours), they are trying to give you deep meaningful advice on what you need to do and what you should be doing.  How exactly would someone that just met you have your best interest in mind let alone even know what your best interest is?

So we all know what the distinction is, but how do we know when we’ve reached that point with someone?  What exactly is that point where trust and respect are paramount to just saying the nice thing?

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~ by bfmooz on June 18, 2011.

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