The Strongest Bonds

I had a great conversation with one of my oldest, dearest friends recently.  We were talking about how there was a period of time where we had pretty much vanished from each others lives, yet once we reconnected it was as if we hadn’t missed anything.  It got me thinking about the important elements that make up a great friendship.  To me, the strongest bonds are those that are woven by the test of time.

Test of time is a commonly used metaphor, but to some degree I refer to it in the truest of senses.  Through every interaction we have with the people in our lives, we are engaged in a continual exchange of moments, ideas, and actions.  Initially, we share things at the very surface.  Casual conversations that might consist of varying topics but generally nothing deep and meaningful that we wouldn’t ordinarily share with a stranger.

As we move forward, we all move closer to the borders.  We get to those points in time where we venture into uncharted ground to see how accepting the other person is to conversation that might be of a more personal nature.  We test that water for a while and depending on the reaction and ensuing exchange we develop a new point in our mutual comfort zones.  Along with that new level, we are forging an underlying foundation of trust and respect.  As that common acceptance grows, we continue to push those boundaries.  This happens with our interactions with everyone we meet and know for any period of time.  We determine our limits and either place a hard stop at a point of comfort or we decide to move the slider and advance the relationship.  On the fringes of this trial lies the most trusted and valuable friendships we possess.

This group consist of those that we have been able to let down our guard with in the moments where having a friend is most important.  It’s the people that have walked to the edge with you and when you took a leap decided to come along as well, either to help you to find your way or to just be there when needed.   When you read the book of your life in your mind, these are the recurring characters that craft the plot.

When I consider these people in my life, it stirs things within me.  Life is tough at times and we all deal with our own bucket of difficulties and challenges, but at the same time I have another bucket filled with some of the most amazing memories a person could have.  I am incredibly blessed to have known some of the most fascinating people possessing such a wide spectrum of personalities, strengths, and ideals.  While I am a believer that we forge our own destiny and choose our own path, our greatest friends are the ones that turn the long road into an amazing road trip.

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~ by bfmooz on June 30, 2011.

2 Responses to “The Strongest Bonds”

  1. This is nice, moose.

    I wonder if I blow right through those social barriers sometimes. That is, people open themselves to vulnerabilities in different ways and to different extents.

    I tend to be somewhat open (I think), and that commonly shows up for me in trusting people quickly… and sometimes getting let down. In those cases, your doctrine still holds, as it is those with whom trust is well placed that make up the “Strongest Bonds” over time, while those who do not hold trust as well move off to the side in my relationships.

    –k

    • I think your dead on and yes, the same principle still holds true. How quickly and even how daring we are in sliding the bar is kind of irrelevant. It’s really the outcomes and the results that drive the reaction. In your example of getting let down, it might have happened by trusting too quickly, but ultimately it still serves the same purpose in defining the boundary. A lot has to do with personality and even more complimentary personality traits and behaviors. If I look upon my circle of closest friends, some of those took many years to forge where others literally seemed to be an immediate connection. It’s the test of time not the length of time that matters.

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